I want it to stop

I want it to stop!

I have been very stressed as of late and have had various reasons for the stress. I just want it to all go away. I am a person that tries to look at the positive of everything. I haven't always been like this but when your husband goes away to a warzone, looking at the positives is something that saves your sanity. So I have transformed into this optimist. I keep telling myself that things will fall into place and that things will happen when they happen but while I keep saying this to myself, I keep getting more and more stressed and I don't like it.

So instead of just saying things to myself, that things will happen when they happen, I am going to try and be more proactive. I'm going to try push the ball to make it roll instead of just watch the ball roll by. I have to. Why? I don't like who I am when I'm stressed. I yell more, I clean way too much, and I get these HORRIBLE stress headaches that never go away. I got one last night and it has lasted to this morning.

It's up to me to get things done for myself. I will not wait any longer for the moons to line up and everything to be perfect to get things to happen. I am tired of waiting. It's time to start doing!